I am faced with a daunting question as I pack my bags for a long unknown journey today. Why are goodbyes laced with such chronically negative emotions, often leaving us with a pit in our stomach or a lump in our throat? A feeling that you rather avoid altogether by attempting every escape route possible. Being a true Libran in this respect, we hate confrontations and a goodbye is somewhat a confrontation of emotions, so I relate closely to these “flight” reactions of a farewell. Wouldn’t it be awesome to have the sweetest send off that leaves us with feelings of ecstatic positive thoughts instead? Right now as I sit in the airport waiting to board my long drawn flight to New York, I find myself somewhere in between these 2 vastly distinct planes of emotions. While my traditionally inculcated traits are fighting to surface, my “new self” is just as well putting up a damn good fight.
You ask most people their least favorite places and I’m pretty sure you will get a majority of hospitals and airports. Why? Because these places tend to symbolize farewells and valedictions, because from that moment onwards everything then becomes a memory. These are the goddamn ones that get us and get us good. The ones that play a pivotal role in making us feel the presence of a void.
It could be a goodbye from randomly bumping into a childhood friend, a partner in crime, one that you shared school pranks with and all the summoned principal office visits that followed. Or a goodbye to a persistently bad habit that actually kept you so happy and content. It could be goodbye to a long life changing relationship that sailed its course or a one-night encounter that was drastically shorter in comparison but seemed as impactful. A goodbye to your family and friends, those who battled with you through all obstacles and rode alongside you amongst the crazy excruciating laughter’s. And the deepest and most painful goodbye to a special soul, one that you don’t think you will ever see again.
While I have gone through my share of each one of these and I’m sure you have at some point as well, I face it all over again, but this time I choose to view it differently. This time as I say goodbye I try and feel the sweetness that lies within it all. I see that a goodbye gives end to the present by creating the beauty of a memory and it gives the present a thriving energy of wanting to explore what lies ahead. Memories are the most miraculously magnificent part of the human mind. When u are encapsulated in a memory, its often even more vivid than the moment itself. You can feel, smell and taste the air that surrounds the space. Its unbelievable and I think most of life would be insignificant without it.
So I rather embrace the fear of the unknown and celebrate what was. Because while you say goodbye to the past and move forward into the future, you add more steps to your staircase by encountering strangers that might become your partner in crime, your lover, your family, your friend or even your persistently bad habit. Most importantly you must realize the biggest truth of all, memories are the fuel for life and home is always where your heart is. If we never said goodbye, we wouldn’t have either.
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” Rumi